The list goes on and on, but those are the most common responses.  They probably sound familiar as we discussed them at length during the training.

And when you put all this in perspective, you realize that listening is not a passive act.  That is why so many communication skills advocates consistently refer to active listening as the approach we need to use.

And as salespeople, we must never forget that quite often what someone says later in a sentence or later in a conversation is more important to them than what they say early.  So when we tune out we risk not learning what is most important to them.

So what do you do about it?  Here are five reminders to consider:

Be aware of the problem—“Forewarned is forearmed.”  Knowing how challenging listening can be is the first step.

Take notes—or as we prefer to say, make notes.  Any time an idea or response or need or objection or even a distraction occurs to you, drop out for a second or two and get it on paper.  Write down that key word or two that will remind you of what you were thinking.

“Double Click”—Asking the client to say a little more about what is on their mind gives you a better opportunity to hear what they are saying.  So if someone says:  “this is making me uncomfortable,” ask them “what is it about it that makes you uncomfortable?”  By double clicking on uncomfortable, you will learn a lot more and listen better.

Paraphrase, paraphrase, and paraphrase again—Let the client know you heard them.  Review your understanding.  Review those needs.  Restate or reframe those objections.  Do whatever it takes to make sure you understand what the client has said.

Be present—Stay in the moment.  Don’t digress.  Do what you can to keep those barriers from impacting your listening ability.  If you are distracted, force yourself back.  If you are preoccupied, make a note and jump back in.  If you are bored, remind yourself that only boring people get bored.

The bottom line is that you have to listen.  You know that as a sales professional, everything you do has to focus on the client.  There is no alternative.  When you look at the barriers you can’t help but notice that the items on the list have one thing in common—we are listening to ourselves, not the client.  It’s about us.  And that is not so good, but of course, you know that.

Remember the old adage: when you meet someone new and like them, it is usually because they listened to you, appeared interested in you, wanted to learn about you and let you speak.  It is hard to like people who are self-absorbed.  Let’s make sure that when we interact with our clients, when we leave they know that they have been heard and that we were listening.  Chances are they will like you a heck of a lot more than the guy who didn’t focus on them.